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Post by Rama on Jan 20, 2004 0:08:10 GMT -5
cnn.netscape.cnn.com/ns/news/story.jsp?floc=FF-APO-1110&idq=/ff/story/0001%2F20040119%2F1456255098.htm&sc=1110Jesus tupping christ on a pogostick. It's 2004. Can't we fucking kill these people or something already? Hand every atheist a hand gun and 15 bullets and send them on a tour of alabama, I say! "My child is possessed by teh devvils!!" bang "I can speak in tongues!" bang "Look at me! Donate to my church AND BE HEALED!!" bang..."heal that, motherfucker" So maybe I'm exagerating, being a bit radical on this...but I honestly can't think of anything worse than letting people like this breed.
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Post by ebonywnd on Jan 20, 2004 10:33:00 GMT -5
I've never shot a gun before. With only fifteen bullets, I would be bound to kill a significantly smaller number than I would like. How about I use a knife instead? That way, I can 1) kill an almost unlimited amount of people and 2) feel the smooth steel cut through their ignorant and misguided flesh.
-Laura "now there's another happy-fun-time!" McIntosh
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Post by Valvilis on Jan 20, 2004 11:54:59 GMT -5
Finally, a topic I'm fit to speak on... Christian genocide.
We outfit the smaller atheists with sniper rifles with bipods. Just like a camera, look through the "view finder," point, and click. Think supermodel, think headshots!
The middle grounders might consider a 9mm with a few extra clips and a blunt object, like a bat or crow bar, if they close to melee.
For the berserkers, I suggest something with 3 shot bursts, conservations mixed with stopping power. This should be held in the left hand, the right should have a katana - you'll thank me for that arrangement later.
The highly dexterous should go with twin semi-automatic handguns and a whole slew of ammo.
Lastly, for those with no sense of reality, who feel that they were born for this very purpose, I suggest a 150lb test compound bow, a quiver jam-packed with ammo, a german zwei-hander for melee (read "damn big sword") a few throwing axes to cover the range between arrows and the sword, and a traditional roman cestus dipped in honey and rolled in shards of glass for when you're out of ammo, and they've closed in past your sword's minimum effective range. Knee and elbow spikes are optional, as is a small buckler shield attatched to your left forearm.
Viva la revolution!
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Post by profdunebastard on Jan 20, 2004 12:24:44 GMT -5
The Vikings had this little thing they called the Crimson Eagle: You string aguy up to a tree and deliver two precise cuts across the chest, allowing the lungs to hang out and flap in the breeze like a bloodsoaked bird in flight. Now I'm not saying we should definately do this, but I'm not saying it is not an option either.
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Post by ebonywnd on Jan 20, 2004 12:39:31 GMT -5
These cuts would have to be fairly low on the chest, would they not? The ribcage prevents things from just flapping out like you describe. Two low cuts, severing the diaphragm, might do it, and the lungs could dangle out then I suppose. Sounds wickedly painful though. How delicious.
-Laura
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Post by Ravenlock on Jan 20, 2004 15:05:59 GMT -5
Knee and elbow spikes are optional, as is a small buckler shield attatched to your left forearm. Viva la revolution! Methinks a hybrid for moi. Akimbo glochs with scores of clips of talon hollowpoints, a bastard sword strapped to my back for when I run out of ammo. Until that point, pistol whipping would suffice. ~Roger "mmmm pistol whip" Smith |
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Post by Valvilis on Jan 20, 2004 15:30:24 GMT -5
Anybody know where there's a metal shop I can use? I need to start smithing my own swords - everything you can order is either crap or costs too much, neither of which needs to be the case. There's a lot of stuff I've thought was really cool, but would never hold up in combat. If you know a place, let me know - it needs to have a good furnace. I need something heavier than what I'm using now, and they just don't sell it. In the meantime, here's some of the neater looking stuff I've wanted, despite theri inferior construction. www.mwart.com/product.asp?pid=489www.extremely-sharp.com/es/catalog/30044.html* Two blades in one scabard... yay! |
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Post by profdunebastard on Jan 20, 2004 15:31:53 GMT -5
I'm thinking we need a few inside men (and women) too, something with a more sublte hand to complement the less discreet troops. Someone to sow discord and confusion. I'm sure there is little info to glean from a christian 'intelligence' network', but with these christers so damn entrenched in the politic mire, it might not hurt fighting fire with fire. Of course this is not a pretty job, no one wants to join the other side, even in pretense, but i think it might be neccessary. It requires good acting ability, a flair for intrigue and treachery, and subtle fingers that can caress in seduction as well as backstab and work a garot. Again, I know trickery and intelligent guile seem almost like overkill against our foe, but I don't want to underestimate them. These are the same people that orchestrated the crusades, inquisition, protestantism, and televangelism. Such evil must be met every step of the way in kind.
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Post by Rama on Jan 20, 2004 16:17:22 GMT -5
This is quite possibly the most brilliant thread this board has ever hosted.  I think I'd have to go with the classic semi-auto handgun. Only one though. My cuttin arm has to be free. Also, I think I'd prefer to keep the sharpies on my left hand instead of my right hand, myself being of the more sinister persuasion. Accuracy would be more important for the sword (would have to use a wakizashi or something similar. Compact, because I'm a flaming pussy with no upper body strength), so as to properly go snicker-snak with it. Long range combat wouldn't really be an issue for me. What's the point in spilling someone's blood if you don't get it all over you? It's like eating crab, or lobster. Only weaklings use bibs! Really, if I can't feel their blood running over my hand, it just isn't right. I've gotta be able to smear it all over my person in a ritualistic fashion. It's creepier that way. And as we all know...creepy=fun. |
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Post by Valvilis on Jan 20, 2004 18:24:57 GMT -5
Piddlefish. Sheer piddlefish. You think this is some sort of game? We're talking about 15% of the US population fighting about 70%, and you're opting out of long range combat?! Now my bloodlust is as unquenchable as any, but you have to understand that this is a team effort and some sacrifices are going to have to be made. I'm sorry to hear about your left-handedness, you'll statistically die earlier than the rest of us - and it looks less impressive when we're all lined up, gun in the left, sword in the right, except for a few sillydexterous goons down on the end that have everything backwards.
Anyway, long story short, this is about numbers, save the style for when the playing field is level. You'll know when, because I'll have moved on to using nothing but fun stuff like kwon daos, rope darts, and chain whips.
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Post by profdunebastard on Jan 20, 2004 18:44:59 GMT -5
If my intelligence network can snag some secret launch codes and tanks and where they store the trained warhorses and kill-bots, we can probably improve the odds significantly. Remember, any one of us equals like 3-20 christians(depending on their level of fundamentalism and whether they are from the south). And remember Jason, we are about individuality-if we get too stanardized and uniform and lose track of our identities, hell, it'd be a phyrric victory.
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Post by Rama on Jan 20, 2004 21:09:39 GMT -5
Nod to what the good professor said. I think your estimates are a little pessimistic too. When you consider we could kill most of them off just by poisoning their wine and jeezits, I don't think it'll be too challenging. Just think of it, it'll be like heaven's gate.
I've got my nikes, do you have yours?!
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Post by FishBait on Jan 21, 2004 0:12:55 GMT -5
It requires good acting ability, a flair for intrigue and treachery, and subtle fingers that can caress in seduction as well as backstab and work a garot. that definitely sounds like a job for a woman, or two Carolyn "i wanna kill some christians too, yay!!!!" Kemp Anyone ever hear the NOFX song "Kill all the white men"? i have that in my head only as "Kill all the christians" it fits surprisingly well |
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Post by Seany-D on Jan 21, 2004 9:49:38 GMT -5
this reminds me, if anyone wants to go target shooting, and you have some bucks to split the cost of ammo and range time, I have the pistols and a range practically in my backyard. In all seriousness, I certainly wouldn't advocate the whacking of Christian extremists (bitch-slapping, OTOH....), but plugging a paper target full of holes is excellent stress relief.
Sean "rollin' out his gat" Davis
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Post by ebonywnd on Jan 21, 2004 11:55:35 GMT -5
I shudder to even think of how bad my aim would likely be.
Employee: "Oh, you are supposed to hit the paper target."
Me: "I was trying to."
Employee: "Oh....." ::awkward silence::
Yeah.....that's about right.
-Laura " deadly at point-blank range" McIntosh
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